What is done is done…
You can’t unmelt cheese.
There’s an odd melancholy to being a lone runner. We run, we see, we experience but regardless of what we do, the moments are ours. We can’t share how we perceived our journey in its entirety or even in a way that all understand.
The day has been spent pondering…
The question keeps coming back to me and the more I ponder, the more I realise that the answer is one that is difficult to express.
Why do you run?
I run because…
Here’s the stumbling block. Why the hell do I run?
At one point I ran to escape and to change.
I ran to avoid certain poor decision.
I ran because there was nothing else to do.
I ran to explore.
I ran to experience the purity of moving through a landscape. Simple, light and free.
I ran to find out my limits.
I ran to see if I had found my limits.
I run to?
Now I question the relevance of the question ‘why do you run?’
Pursuing The Void 
Me, I run because I’m a runner, and I’m a runner because I run. I run because I know what I am. I run because I’m a human – we evolved these springy legs and feet to run with. I run for the same reason cats snooze – it’s what we do. I run because I’m me, and running is a big part of what I do.
I run because I’ve never been happier than since I started running. With more encouragement to run as a teenager I’d have had a much healthier, happier time of it.
Now, 8 months into a bout of plantar fasciitis I don’t feel so much like a runner. In a good week I get to do 25-30km at a gentle pace. In a bad one I might get to walk 10km. I can feel the anxiety that dogged me through my teens and early adulthood returning. I can feel the confidence and independence and mental resilience lent me by the ability to run a marathon and more draining away.
I’m still a runner. Somewhere in my head, and my feet, and my heart and lungs, I’m still a runner.
A few more months…
Awesome words 🙂