My brain won’t quieten down today. There’s something nagging at it and everytime I face it, it steps out of the way. Staying on the periferi of my thoughts.
Still… I stepped on, Sophie behind.
The landscape is dangerously beautiful. It lures you into a sense of security before you realise just what you have to get passed to continue. The rain came and went but the marsh and bog was relentless. In some cases avoiding the damper sections meant even tougher retain under foot
It was a good day though. It ended with an incredible river crossing (one of several) and a meal warmed above a wood fire.
As the landscape has changed so too have the bogs. They are deeper and filled with sticky peat. There are better trails at times and the occasions of heather bashing or trudging through miles of small willow and birch trees seem less frequent.
There have been many thoughts…
Thoughts on demons, what is the purpose of doing this and the comprehension of it all. I’m struggling to think of it as a whole or to break it down into pieces. Instead is trudge on…
Step, step, step, step, is the rhythm of my day. I marvel at the ability of my body to repeat the same action over and over again and feel as though I am looking in from outside my body or my mind is detached from my body. I create my own demons and use them to drive me forwards at a faster pace. All sense of self is lost and I blend with the landscape around me. Then like a glimmer of light in a darkened room I return to the real world. The world of thoughts and desires. I realise there is so much I will miss…
My pace slows…
I feel tired…
I remember the snippets of stories about my grandmother’s passed. Anger rises as I recall the demon, deep brown eyes, a melecious grin upon it face as it stares north. Taunting me to stop taking steps.
Another step is placed in front of the previous and the sound of my breathing fill my mind. I am lost again to the landscape.
Then it’s time to feel lost for the first time. Navigation skills switch on, looking all around and takin in the details of the landscape around me. I dig out the maps I screenshotted a few miles before.
Recount my steps, locate my self on the map and then use the landscape as a bearing. Eventually a river is reached and across it a red trail marking. It is time to sing and step across yet another river.
I was thankful that I paused on top of the highest peak today totals screen shots of the maps we may need. It was invaluable as there were no markers at all for several km of hilly terrain.
Other than that we just walked. Tomorrow should see us reach the first mountain cabin and the possibility of some extra rations, although it may be worth having a complete rest day.
I’m amazed at how well my body is coping with the lack of food.