I Can’t Run – Days 4 & 5

Before you start…

Get a tea, coffee or ale…

It is an odd place I find myself and me words may be of a rambling nature

Don’t get me wrong…
This is not a moan or wings or even me feeling sorry for myself.

It’s just observations, or more clearly put conclusions as a result of ibservations. 

At some point, running became a part of who I am and I think this is the same for lots of people.  At the same time, taking on something big…

Something that needs the time to train and then to execute, takes over the sense of normal life.  It’s almost as though the curiosity as to why gets in the way of other desires or wants.

But here’s the point of toting these thoughts down…

Starting an adventure such as mine has left me with a sense of sweet melancholy.  Sad that I’m leaving what I love behind but at the same time, joyous that I realise I love the things I do.

I have decided to put the adventure first, and the want to share my love for running on moor and fell with someone aside.  And for what?

For the need to find out more about who I am.  About what my ephemeral existence can achieve, knowing full well that the achievement has little to no value.  Knowing that most will find it difficult to even comprehend what I may achieve or endure.

And here’s the other point…

I choose this path.  The decision was made and every step I have taken was in this direction.  A distinction that should be made between those that are exulted for their incredible feats of endurance and those that endure but make no conscious decision to have to endure.  They endure to survive.  Yet receive no medal for their efforts. 

We should stand tall and reward them with open arms and treat each of them as the heroes they are as they slowly either and pass from our midst.

Now.. Sat listening to the turbulence of the river, I wander how much is this is inspired by my grand mother.  She lives, she has endured more that most but lives as though others (all around her) have endured more than her. 

This adventure is in her honour.  Her ability to embrace pain and survive.  

Babcia… You are a true immortal amongst men an led an inspiration to me more than I have words to express.  I known not how you shoulder your loses but I hope to in some way develop the strength that you radiate. 

Here I make conscious effort to stop…

Ramblings that meander towards self should never be given extended credence.  Instead I sit and think about the choice of other around me to push themselves:

 To endure what most can’t comprehend; and in most cases, be successful at breaking free of the barriers we create for ourselves.  We should all rejoice in this.  It is what we are meant to do.  

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4 thoughts on “I Can’t Run – Days 4 & 5

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